broken

so...fall break...was an experience

i was home for less than 24 hours...i had a blast with my parents and niece and nephew...but there was another in our home...

it crazes me to think how sin can completely warp an otherwise beautiful person into a monster.  home is no longer a haven for me. grace is school.  i feel as though i have no where to be.  to be safe.  i know my home is still there but until the situation changes i am under constant attack when i am there.  it is a struggle for me to comprehend spending months there this summer ot even a short time during christmas break.  it scares me to think what will happen

my family is falling to pieces.  i guess it has been for sometime...but now that i am old enough to do something about it is beyond repair.

i just dont know what to do about anything anymore. it seems anything i touch is destined for failure.  meh.

fail

i try to be honest and look where it gets me...dangit

OK....long blog...also random and unorganized...but its my heart

sooo...

blogging...the hip new thing right...well...here it is...

 im a blogger.

yay

one of the many things i am.

sometimes i feel like i try to be sooo many things-student,leader,friend,daughter,sister,manager,follower...

where does it end.

cant i just be val...

hmm...

just something ive been thinking.

i feel so pulled to fit into boxes. boxes i have built myself...and im not ok with these boxes. i feel liek a loser because i sacrafice my real relationships because i cant sit at a table for an entire meal wthout feeling the need to go talk to 800 other people. where does it stop? i want to break down the boxes and live...not just live...but live in LOVE....

i just want to learn to genuinely how to love....what does it look like...i want it to permeate my life...but im so distracted by fleeting things.  i worry about stupid crap that does not matter...who cares...

ugh i just dont even know. thats about where i am at...but the great thing is...ive been broken enough that i can be fixed...so...here it goes....

also sweet quote from a sweeeet book, "Under the Overpass"

"harmony, in fact, demands difference.  Two of the same note doesn't make harmony"-Mike Yankowski...we have to be willing to love those different than ourselves...

sorry this is all random...but its how i work...so yeah

hatred at:

american journeys

i love it.....

seriously...i love when i waste time online...cept not at all.

dangit.

today was a great day though...seriously did not feel like a monday...i mean i didnt even play manic monday once...CRAZY

here goes midterms week...oh baby!

over and out

*val*

attention:

my name is not valgeers. thank you very much joshua leichty....i mean jones.

also for those who are not josh: he is not a "spiteful person"

just thought you should know.

i love boys like girls.  they are a fave...check 'em out.

concentration...

yeah....i dont have it. end.of.story.

dangit.

I am in holly's room

yeah...its true. i am in alpha. i like it.
im with holly, the love of my life...and my new friends faith and krysta and of course... GRACE....were pretty much bff's....be jealous.
also holly is SPECIAL...i friggin love HOLLY to the ends of the earth more than anyone in the world.

in new news. i am sick of school...oh wait...that is old news. so...yeah.

goal for the week: make 3 new friends. i will keep you updated.

First BLOG....get excited

soo....this is a blog...look at me im blogging.

dont have time right now.

but know that:

a. Argos is gonna kick tail in sectionals tonight...goo hannnah!

b. im pumped for my parents and lizzie and christian to be here

c. i love flannel

d. I have so much to do on this night

e. God is GOOOOOD.

peace out kids.

*Val*